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"Haiku For Him" is the title of a poem written anonymously by Sharon in the episode The Substitute. Its sexual nature created controversy when Vic decides to print it in the Liberty Lit. The poem is not a real haiku.

The poem is:

He peels off my clothes like a starving man

Would peel an orange.

His lips taste my juicy sweetness.

My legs tangle with his;

We become one being,

A burning furnace

In the cold dark basement of love.